Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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