he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
