please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
COCAINE IS GR8
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
