Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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