Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
