He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Let the clothes fall where they may.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
