Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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