I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
