I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
