she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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