i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
