there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
