Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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