just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
