Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
