I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
