My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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