Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
