so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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