Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
