My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
