you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
