morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
