sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
