Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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