i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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