"it" just moved
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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