I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
