so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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