Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
