That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
