when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
