it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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