the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
