Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
