I can tuck mytits in my pants
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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