There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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