You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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