it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
