She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
