i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
