Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
