Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
