I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Me. At least after what I've been through.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
