My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he shaved USA in his pubs
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
