omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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