Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
