Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
