I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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