So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
