don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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