We got so high we made milksteak
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
