i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
