Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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